The casual gamer

I think we’ve all been shocked upon reading the chapter 53 of Tokyo Ghoul:Re which unraveled even more of Kaneki’s already tragic past. 

The first question I had to ask myself was, how did nobody see it coming? I mean sure, there will always be those creating their own headcanons, but there was no one who’d actually say “Hey, something’s wrong with Kaneki’s story. Something’s missing.”

So I went back to previous volumes just to check if there was anything at all that could have warned us. And whether we were meant to know. 

And I found plenty. But it is a part of sensei’s genius to construct a story so carefully and in such an intelligent way that we missed an obvious tragedy that had been haunting Kaneki since the very beginning. Perhaps, it’s because there are doors Kaneki never wanted to open for us, or even himself. And there were silences that we never questioned. 

All in all, we all failed to comfort the saddest boy who ever lived.

[Obvious spoilers up until chapter 53 of TG:re.]

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A long while ago, I wrote a long analysis on the recurring theme of attachment in TG and early parts of TG :re (here). Since then, the concept became even more frequently reiterated in TG :re, especially by Eto, as in the case of Kanae.

I would love to talk about Kanae, but I guess I would need a separate post and possibly more information for that. So, for now, I think I need to say briefly about the newly released chapter 53 which makes a significant revelation that I need to add to my original post!

Up to now, we had been led to believe by Kaneki’s (distorted) perception of his mother that she is consistently kind and caring.

This ‘fact’ is repeated over and over again in Tokyo Ghoul, with absolutely no mention of abuse of any kind.

So, of course, you would be surprised at first that in Tokyo Ghoul :re chapter 53, Kaneki suddenly went back on what he had said so far about his motherly figure:

You might immediately be confused and even conflicted about this. Why now? Why did he express such an overflowing love for her if she really did provide him with a secure, loving upbringing?

And why would he crave a motherly figure, and not a fatherly figure? Considering he has a “kind and gentle” mother for the first eight years of his life while having no father since birth…?

According to one theory of attachment, your childhood relationship with mother is very important for all kinds of future relationships (including peer and romantic).

So why would he, who supposedly have ‘a good first few years of relationship with his mother’ develops an anti-social, introverted personality with mother complex?

The reason is probably because Kaneki repressed some of his memories when it comes to his mother until now. This is certainly possible psychodynamically through the ego defense mechanism of repression - your unconscious protects your sanity by repressing unpleasant memories away so you forget it.

But, wait a minute, does that mean Kaneki had been completely lying about his mum all this time. The answer is NO.

It’s most likely that his mum is indeed kind to him sometimes, but there are times when she gets brutal and abusive. And it’s the latter part that Kaneki’s memory repressed.

I mean, how could someone bear so many responsibilities, being single mum and having to care for an irresponsible sister, without letting off steam by lashing on someone? She could not ‘inconvenience anyone else,’ so the only target possible would be her own son.

[There are three types of attachment (secure, insecure avoidant and insecure ambivalent). Your childhood attachment type is believed to influence your adulthood attachment.]

So far it has been confusing because if he has such a secure attachment with his mum then it would = a secure attachment in adulthood.

But Kaneki show signs of insecure attachment in all his adulthood relationships. (i.e. Not believing Hide’s friendship will last, neglecting the fact that he is loved by many like Touka and Banjo’s co. - please refer to the original post for more details), which is more like insecure ambivalent (loving others obsessively but not believing in the existence/endurance of love from others).

Insure ambivalent attachment only happens if the mother’ treats the child inconsistently. That’s to say - acting loving sometimes while ignoring or being harsh in other times.

And that’s what shapes Kanki’s concept of ‘love’ at an unconscious level.

He learns to like the love and care his mother gives him sometimes, but, unfortunately, his poor single mum was sometimes too exhausted to give him adequate attention and actually abuse him.

Therefore, he grows up wanting people’s love while not convinced that the overflowing love and admiration he receives are there or would last (just like how his loving mum suddenly kicks and neglects him for nothing).

I hope this helps :D